Before we begin, let me just say that if I choose to express a certain exasperation with any aspect of my day, it is out of love and a particular blend of pedantry and perfectionism.
So it is wholly unreasonable to expect me to saturate between 84% and 93% simply because that is how you have set my monitoring devices. I will saturate between 75% and 98% and therefore you will have to constantly reset my alarms. This is what you are for. I will make myself into a little ball and sleep - thank you.
It is entirely fair for me to decide that today is not a day to try out nasal oxygen. I need CPAP support today. You should also understand that I don't like CPAP. The prongs squash my nose. So I will try to take it off. I fail to understand why you don't let me. And while I'm discussing self determination - why do my parents keep stopping me from removing my feeding tube? I am now over three weeks old. I should be able to determine my own care by now. Please see this little clip to show the way I am tormented.
I have now learned to do push ups and to look around. Just as soon as I can get my lungs' strength up - I shall remove these horrid tubes once and for all.
[Parents note - it may look like we keep lifting Arthur, but to our and the nurses surprise, he lifts his head and body off you chest during 'kangaroo care' and will really fight back if he's not happy. A quick change of nappy and then position and he stayed settled for two hours. Still dropping his O2 sats from time to time, to make sure we don't ignore him.]
|"I know what I'm doing"|
Arthur - slightly stroppy crosspatch - Eccles